In A Heartbeat
by Lexi Lou Who
Summary: Everything can change in a single Heartbeat...
1. Tonight, I wanna Cry

**Title: In A Heartbeat**

**Author: Lexi Lou Who**

**Copyrighted Song: 'Tonight, I wanna cry' by Keith Urban**

**Summary: Everything can change in a single heartbeat**

**Warnings: Angst, Slash, Language**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or the lyrics to 'Tonight, I wanna cry' by Keith Urban**

**A/N: Hey all! Lexi here. So, You all wonder why I took the original one off. Well, it's simply because I didn't like it. At first, I liked it, but when I read it a week ago, it didn't seem right. So, I took it off and rewrote it completely. Well, I hope you like this EDITED version. Enjoy!**

**Thanks to Sparkleblsmchyld. Kudos to you!

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_Alone in this house again tonight,  
__I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine.  
__There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me.  
__The way that it was and could have been surrounds me.  
__I'll never get over you walkin' away._

Nick sat on the couch in the living room with his fourth - or fifth; he'd lost track - beer on the coffee table in front of him. The TV was playing a football game, but it was muted. All he heard was the silence of the house that was once filled with happiness, laughter, love and lust was now filled with silence, sadness and memories of what happened last night before shift.

With a sigh, he took another long sip of beer and set it down on the table before he looked around and his eye caught sight of a picture on the table beside thecouch, an ever-familiar picture. It was of him and his lover in happier times - at their anniversary last month. His lover kissing Nick's cheek as he took the picture. It made the memory of what happened last night flood through his thoughts and filled his heart with regret.

He didn't mean to do what had, honestly. He was just angry, that was all. It had been a long day with a really tough case and when he had come home, he just wanted to hug his love and make it all go away, not stand there and argue; and do what he did. It was all his love's fault.

'No, it's not. It's mine,' Nick thought. 'I shouldn't have taken my anger out on him and because I did, now he's gone, probably forever.' Nick felt tears well up in his eyes and he quickly wiped them away as he let his mind reply the whole scene again.

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show.  
__And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control;  
__But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain.  
__To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain.  
__From my eyes,  
__Tonight I wanna cry._

_**FLASHBACK**_

It had been a long shift for Nick Stokes. A tough, long, hard and emotional case, to be more specific.

He had been paired up with Catherine to take care of a DB in the suburbs. When they got there, they found out that it was a nine year old boy, curled up in his bed with a bullet on the side of his head and his brother, a year older than him, covered in blood and gun shot wound to his arm. That's what started the emotional shift for Nick.

The babysitter, a young 16-year-old named Ashley, was watching them. She said that she was downstairs, watching TV after she had put the boys to bed. It was only 15 minutes after she had done so before she heard a gunshot and a scream. When she ran upstairs, she found a gun tossed aside on the floor, one boy injured, and the other one dead.

It had seemed like that the younger brother, named Jason, had killed the boy, who was named A.J, but it had turned out that at the angle Jason's wound was at, it was inconsistent with a self-inflicted wound. When asked, Jason wouldn't talk, but was finally pressured to confess that Ashley had raped A.J, then shot Jason, then A.J when threatened that they boys would tell. Later, Ashley confessed to raping and killing A.J.

It took all of Nick's strength to try and not burst into the room and beat the girl, but had later been found in the locker room by Warrick, crying.

'At least Greg can help me feel better.' Nick thought, smiling at the thought of his young boyfriend, as he walked up to the door of his house and opened the door to find Greg pacing in the living room and instead of a 'Hey Nick, How was your day?' He said the one thing that Nick didn't expect and dreaded hearing.

"I want them to know, Nick." He said. Nick kicked off his shoes and raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I want everyone at the lab to know about us. I'm tired of living in secrecy." Greg said, following Nick into the kitchen. The Texan CSI took out a beer from the fridge and shook his head.

"No." He said simply as he opened it and took a drink, feeling really, really stressed atthat moment. He didn't need this and just wanted Greg to drop it, like they usually did when Greg brought it up. But by the determined look on the blonde's face, he could tell that he wasn't going to drop this.

"Why the hell not, Nick?" He asked, apparently angry at the answer. Nick looked at him and took another drink as he thought up of a good excuse.

"Because…because I'm not ready yet." Nick said. It felt unusual as it came out of his mouth. He could obviously tell that it was a lie and apparently, Greg could too as his eyes grew angrier.

"Bullshit, Nick! Tell me the real reason!" He shouted as he, once again, followed Nick into the living. Nick turned to him, beer in hand.

"Because I don't want to, Greg!" He said back, angry and temper rising by the moment. He had to keep it under control before he did something he'd regret. Greg glared at him and relaxed his body a bit, but never relaxing the expression in his eyes.

"You're embarrassed of us, aren't you?" He asked, his voice calm and accusing. Nick looked outraged at the accusation and shook his head.

"No! I'm not ashamed. I never was, Greg." Nick protested to him, but Greg wouldn't hear it.

"I know you are, Nick. Maybe there shouldn't be an 'us' anymore until you're finally ready to tell them about us." Greg said, angry. He said more, but Nick couldn't hear anymore under the rage he was in. His vision turned red and felt himself get angrier by the moment until he couldn't help himself.

He raised his hand and backhanded Greg across the cheek so hard that it made Nick's hand red and caused Greg to fall backward onto the ground.

Greg stared up at Nick with tears in his eyes and Nick lowered his hand, anger suddenly seeping from him as he lowered his hand. Before he had a chance to say anything, Greg got up and ran into the hallway, slipping into his shoes and grabbed his keys before he ran out the door.

Later that night, Greg came by his apartment and took his stuff out, not saying a word to Nick.

_**END FLASHBACK**_

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show.  
__And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control;  
__But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain.  
__To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain.  
__From my eyes,  
__Tonight I wanna cry._

Suddenly, the ring of a telephone brought Nick out of his thoughts and made him jump. With a shaky hand, he took the phone that was sitting next to him and answered it, praying in his mind that it was Greg, calling to apologize.

"Nick, It's Grissom." The older CSI said, which made Nick's heart sink just a little bit more than it already was. Nonetheless, he tried to sound casual instead of sad.

"Griss…what's up?" Nick asked as he noticed the way that Grissom's voice sounded…sad, angry, anxious, out of breath. Then, Grissom said the sentence that made Nick's heat shatter.

"Greg's been in an accident." Grissom said, his voice grim. "He sustained many injuries and flat-lined on the scene, but they managed to bring him back. He's in surgery now."

"I'm on my way." Nick said, tears threatening to spill over and hung up the phone before Grissom could say anything. He sat there for a minute, thinking, before he put his hands to his face and started to cry when the reality hit: Greg, his Greg, had gotten injured, had escaped from the world for a moment and there was a chance he was going to die.

And it was all his fault.

_I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show.  
__And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control;  
__But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain.  
__To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain,  
__From my eyes._

After a few minutes of sobbing on the couch, he managed to pull himself together enough to slip on his shoes and grab his keys before he ran out of the apartment into the rain, saying a silent prayer in his mind:

'Dear god, Please don't take Greg away from me. I love him too much for him to die.'

_Tonight I wanna cry.

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**A/N: Well? What'd you all think? I'll post Chapter 2 soon. Please R&R!**


	2. Goodbye My Lover

**Title: In A Heartbeat**

**Author: Lexi Lou Who**

**Copywrighted Lyrics: 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt**

**Summary: Everything can change in a single heartbeat…**

**Warnings: Language, Angst, Slash**

**Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or the lyrics to 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt**

**A/N: Hey guys! Sarah here! Well, Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!**

**Thanks to Sparkleblsmchyld…Kudos to you!

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_Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
__Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
__'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
__Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
__So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
__Took your soul out into the night.  
__It may be over but it won't stop there,  
__I am here for you if you'd only care._

He opened his eyes and saw white around him. It made him think that he had died and that he was in heaven, but then beeping sounds and outlines of other objects around him told him that he hadn't died, but was in a hospital. He wondered why. What had happened that had caused him to end up in the hospital? He tried to remember what had happened, but he only got random images shot through his brain.

He remembered loud rock music, darkness surrounded him except for lights in front of him, a blinding flash of light and a tree filling his vision before he hit his head and allowed himself to be taken in by the darkness. It made his head hurt and he winced his pain as he tried to rub his head, but found a cast covering his right wrist, hand and fingers, preventing him from moving them at all.

Greg looked around and saw that he had bandages wrapped around his torso, his ankle in a cast, cuts and bruises all over his body and his head was in so much pain he couldn't bear it. Just what the hell had happened to him? What had caused so much injury to his body and caused his head to pound?

"Greg, good to see you awake." A voice said and cut Greg's thoughts and questions short. Greg turned his head to the voice, causing him to wince in pain. It was Grissom. He was sitting in the chair that was next to Greg's bed. He looked worn out and tired, but a smile had crossed his face as he looked at the young CSI. Greg smiled thinly at his boss. Why was he here and not Nick?

_You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
__You changed my life and all my goals.  
__And love is blind and that I knew when,  
__My heart was blinded by you.  
__I've kissed your lips and held your head.  
__Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
__I know you well, I know your smell.  
__I've been addicted to you._

"Grissom." He managed to say, his voice unusually hoarse. He tried to clear it, but that only made him cough. Grissom rose, apparently getting ready to get some help, but Greg shook his head and reached for the water beside his bed, to which Grissom gave him. The blonde carefully sat up and took a sip of water before he sighed in relief. Grissom sat back down and looked at Greg.

"How're you feeling, Greg?" He asked carefully, his voice sounding tired, but soft and calm. Greg tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace and he quickly wiped it off of his face.

"Horrible. I feel like shit." He said and once again, attempted and failed, a smile before he looked into Grissom's eyes. "Grissom, what the hell happened to me?" He asked quietly, hoping the truth and not some excuse like 'I'll tell you later' or 'maybe a bit later, when you feel better.' Grissom looked like he didn't want to tell Greg, but finally gave in when he saw the confused and worried look in Greg's eyes. He took a breath.

"You were in a car accident, Greg. Apparently, from what he could piece together, you were driving along when a car headed your way, driving on the wrong side of the road. You swerved to avoid it and hit a tree. You came back from surgery about 6 hours ago and have been sleeping since then." Grissom told him and it caused the memories of the previous night appear before his eyes.

_Goodbye my lover.  
__Goodbye my friend.  
__You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me. _

FLASHBACK

He was driving along the dark road with rock music playing on the radio to try and drown out the thoughts and memories that had plagued him throughout his shift. Luckily, He didn't have to work with Nick on a case, but he had to work with Nick a few times and when they did, no mention was made about what happened the previous night or any apologies spoken between them.

He could still feel the sting of Nick's slap against his cheek and it caused tears to fill his eyes. Why would Nick hurt him? Nick had promised that he would never hurt him, but it had turned out that that was all talk when the Texan had hurt him last night.

He had turned up later that night after he walked out to take his stuff out of Nick's place and go back to his own apartment to stay there until Nick was ready to tell him where their relationship stood. Nick watched him from the doorway of their bedroom as Greg took out a duffel bag and began to pack whatever possessions he had left there.

After Greg was finally done packing, he zipped up the bag, took it and stood in front of Nick, who leaned against the doorway, blocking. Their gaze held for a mere moment and Greg could see many emotions jumbled into Nick's eyes entwined with each other and it made it hard for Greg to know what Nick was feeling. Nick moved out of the way and watched Greg as he headed for the door, half expecting Nick to call his name, apologize for everything and kiss him senseless.

Instead, Nick just watched as Greg opened the front door and left. Greg could swear that he saw tears fall down Nick's face just as he closed the door.

_I am a dreamer but when I wake,  
__You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
__And as you move on, remember me,  
__Remember us and all we used to be  
__I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
__I've watched you sleeping for a while._

With one hand still on the wheel, He wiped his eyes free of tears as the look on Nick's face came through his mind again, then took out his cell phone from his pocket and began to dial Nick's number. He stared at it after he did for a moment before he closed his phone and put it in the passenger seat with a sigh.

His heart was torn. Part of him wanted to call Nick and apologize for walking out like he did and beg for Nick to take him back and head back home, but the other part of him told him not to do it. It was Nick who should apologize for hitting him and begging for Greg to come back home and for Greg to say no, that it was over for good and nothing Nick say would make him come back.

His thoughts were suddenly ended when a bright flash of light blinded him, preventing him from seeing anything at all. His eyes widened as he jerked the wheel sideways to try and avoid the lights, but the wheel was jerked out of his hands and a tree filled his vision before he closed his eyes and felt himself being thrown around the car like a chew toy in a dog's mouth before he hit his head and his world turned black.

END FLASHBACK

Greg just laid there, stunned into silence by the memory that flashed through his mind and closed his eyes, wincing as another sharp pain shot through his head. Grissom looked at him, a bit worried by the look on the young CSI's face.

"Greg? Are you alright?" Grissom asked Greg. He opened his eyes and nodded gently; finally giving Grissom enough of a smile to try and assure the supervisor that he was fine.

"Griss…Is Nick here?" He asked quietly as the pain in his head steadily grew worse and it bugged him so much. Grissom nodded, but before he spoke, a familiar, scared voice interrupted him.

"Greg, you're okay." A voice said. Grissom stood up and looked towards the voice to find Nick standing in the doorway, his eyes shining with unshed tears as he looked at the state Greg was in. Greg smiled weakly and attempted to wave at his lover.

_I'd be the father of your child.  
__I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
__I know your fears and you know mine.  
__We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
__And I love you, I swear that's true.  
__I cannot live without you._

"Hey Nicky." He said smiling. Nick didn't respond. Instead, he walked over to the side of Greg's bed and passed Grissom, who stood back to allow Nick to see Greg. Nick touched Greg's cheek and rubbed his thumb gently across his cheek.

"You okay?" Greg asked quietly as Nick stood beside him, unshed tears in the Texan's eyes as Nick's hand remained on Greg's cheek and it made Greg smile softly, happy. Nick didn't answer. Instead, he took Greg's uninjured hand and kissed it.

"I'm glad you're okay, Greg. I don't know what I would've done without you." Nick said. Greg's heart beat a little faster. If Nick knew Grissom was in the room, he obviously didn't care because in his next move, he bent down and kissed Greg gently on the mouth.

_Goodbye my lover.  
__Goodbye my friend.  
__You have been the one.  
__You have been the one for me._

Greg didn't know what to do except close his eyes and enjoy the kiss for just a mere moment before a sharp pain in his head, worse than before, made Greg wince and caused Nick to break away, still holding Greg's hand and squeezed it slightly, being careful not to cause more pain to his lover.

"Greggy, are you okay?" Nick asked, worried. Greg looked at Nick and suddenly felt the energy from his body go. 'No, No, No. Please don't let me die.' He thought, trying to fight against the blackness that was trying to swallow him. Another pain shot through his whole body and he yelled in pain, squeezing Nick's hand. Nick's face turned to worry and he looked at Grissom.

"Griss, get a doctor!" He ordered. Grissom nodded and walked as fast as he could from the room, leaving Greg to drown in pain and Nick to worry about him. Nick looked at Greg and sat on the bed next to Greg.

He felt so tired. The pain was sapping him off all of his energy faster and faster and it was killing him. It was getting colder as he grew more tired and tired with each shot of pain that went through him, which was getting to be one after the other. Nick looked at him, worried and held Greg's hand tighter, as if Greg would die if he let go.

"Hold on, G'. The doctors are gonna be here any second and everything'll be okay. You have to stay with me, babe, kay?" He said, pleading with Greg. Greg nodded softly, but he knew that he couldn't hang any longer. He was so tired…All he wanted to do was sleep. He closed his eyes, but snapped them back open when he heard Nick plead to stay with him, to keep his eyes open.

_And I still hold your hand in mine.  
__In mine when I'm asleep.  
__And I will bare my soul in time,  
__when I'm kneeling at your feet._

"Nick…I can't…I wanna sleep." Greg said quietly, his voice begging. Now, he could see that tears were falling out of Nick's eyes and that he made no attempt to hide them or cover them. Nick smiled softly and kissed Greg's hand.

"I know you are, Greggo…but you'll be able to get a chance to sleep once the doctors fixed you, okay? Promise." He said and that only reminded Greg of how Nick never kept his promises. After all, he promised to never hurt Greg and look what happened. He wanted to sleep now. Forget Nick.

"Nick, I'm sorry…For fighting with you." He said. Nick shook his head quickly.

"No, Greg…it's not your fault, honest." Nick said, but Greg acted as if he never heard Nick as he continued.

"Just… remember that I love you. Always." Greg said. Nick shook his eyes as horror and udder sadness took over his eyes and face.

"No, No…Greg, You can't leave me here alone. You can't, damnit!" He yelled as a doctor and some nurses rushed into the room. Just as Nick was pulled away, their connection with their hands broke and Greg said one more thing before he gave in to the pain and the darkness that was ready to greet him:

_Goodbye my lover.  
__Goodbye my friend.  
__You have been the one._

"Goodbye, Nicky. Don't forget to remember me."

_You have been the one for me. _

**A/N: Well? What'd you think? Please R&R!**


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